this has been quite possibly the longest week ever. did i do anything remarkably productive or noteworthy? negative. i watches several movies, the first season of my new favorite show extras and i went to class a few times. my life is so overwhelmingly fantastic i cant handle it. but more on extras. if you dont know what it is sucks for you. its AMAZING. its from ricky gervais (if you dont know who he is then you're a wanker) and it has ashley jensen from ugly betty (yeah i watch it stop judging me via blog). it was on for only 2 seasons for a total of 13 episodes but they are all such a hoot it doesnt even matter. the first one features kate winslet giving phone sex advice and then later acting like shes having phone sex as a guy jerkin her gerkin and doing the tongue flicking thing. i died. cant wait for my next netflix to arrive.
other things i did this week.... hmmm.... well.... uuuhh...... wow. i feel kinda like a loser now. thanks blogosphere. its aight. next year when im off having adventures on my year/rest of my life off i will have way cooler shit to write about. unless i puss out on it in which case i reserve all rights to lead the same semi boring life i do now.
hmmm im trying to think of something that has been pissing me off lately. i've been relatively mundane. oh hold the phone. today i went to ralphs and i nearly slapped a ho. i did not encounter steve, thank god, but i had an issue none the less. i chose the shortest line. i thought it was the normal line but it was actually an express lane for 15 items or less. i had probably 23. NBD. im a boss so i do what i want. i chose this lane because there was one chick checking out and then someone behind her whose sole purchase was a bottle of whiskey. my kinda broad. let me tell you she was a curvaceous sista from the hoooood so i decided not to spit my venom and just let her buy her whiskey in peace. then she took probably like a year and a half checking out. oh my lordy first the pin on her credit card wouldnt work. dont worry. she tried it like four times just to be safe. none worked. checked for another card. nope. try the pin again. FML. get on with it. then finally she figures her shit out and gets hellsa money cash back. our exasperated checker (uuh why are you exasperated you lazy shit you have the express lane you dont do anything) had no money left in the till so he had to take a loan from lane 4 and clear it with the manager to get my whiskey drinkin homegirl her cash back. this only took like another year. i was so over it. when i got in line i saw a dude who looked like samuel L jackson walk by me. then before the cash back incident even started samuel L jackson's doppelganger had already Pced out. dammit. i chose the wrong line. finally i got to check out and leave but i am never using the express lane again. its just a dirty trick from corporate america to herd us like cattle. ok i dont really believe that but hey, i can pretend to be all radical and anti-establishment (establishment in this case means grocery store), right?
in other news i made summer plans to get drunk in a kiddy pool. oh hot damn. i will be lovin that. i will get my shorty shorts on and some SPF 90 on my nose and then pancake on a lawn chair until i'm roasted to a tender medium rare, but the pain of the burn will be dulled by the copious amounts of booze that i will have consumed. its gonna be a bitch of a hangover but if i just go on a 3 month bender then i wont have to deal with it till august. risk of death? moderate. assurance of fun? guaranteed. foolproof plan if you ask me.
No comments:
Post a Comment