aussie hip hop? hellz yeah

who knew that aussies could be all thug life and shit. ok well they're not but this week at surf camp i was introduced to a whole new realm of musical possibilities: australian hip hop, specifically bliss n esso. it was waaaayyy cool. every morning on the way to the beach our instructor would bump it and i would just get amped for the day.

ok, now lets briefly rewind. i went to five days of surf camp which was awesome. effing awesome in fact. monday morning in sydney kit and i stumbled out of our hostel at 715 and dragged our bags do the bus station, briefly got way lost, and then eventually found our bus for Waves Surf School. for the next five days we surfed for hours on end on big blue foam surf boards (so we dont bonk our heads and hurt them, which is what happened to a wee british girl named joooodi) and then as soon as the sun went down it was party time. apparently there are three kinds of surf camps: ones that are serious about surfing, ones that surf alot with drinking on the side, and ones that drink alot with surfing on the side. this camp was the latter. the first night we played an uncomfortably sexual game of never have i ever in which you say things you had done and let me tell you the european girls are FREAKS. we're talking threesomes, foursomes, moresomes, lesbian experimentation, anonymous sex in alleys. WOW. after that i felt like the little sweet baby jesus compared to some of these people. no worries though, it didnt stop us from becoming fast friends... or not. almost everyone was german or german speaking (including a swiss-italian, let me tell you a deutch loving guido is not any better than the regular american verson) and kit and i were the only americans out of our group of 18. fine by me we had to rep america right. we did. everyone kept telling us "oohh you americans are lightweights, you are all idiots, you talk funny" well guess what bitches, the second night of surf camp was the biggest party of the week and 4 europeans puked. FOUR. how many americans? NONE. who was up raging the latest- you guessed it, AMERICA!!!!



this competitive streak in me resurfaced later in the week. a couple of times actually. the first was when we were having our end of the week surf competition. i was all gung ho to win and i surfed my ass off. i mean i got up on waves, i tried to do a sommersault while moving, i did the dead cockroach while moving, and did 180s on the board like it was my job. i thought i was a shoe in to win that shit, cuz lets face it, im a big deal. after our competition we ate lunch and waited for rhys, our instructor, to announce my victory. buut nooooooooooooo. the GD swiss guido won. doubleyoo tee eff. i totally was way cooler than him! and i dont have dumb pierced ears. bitches.



that night i got all competitive again. like unhealthily competitive. we went to this bar in byron bay called cheeky monkeys with the whole surf school crew and there was also another surf school there for their end of the week party. the issue? they were raging way harder than us. i was soooo mad. they were dancing on tables, drinking margaritas and getting rowdy. meanwhile, waves was just sitting and sipping our free beer. whaaat??? i thought we were supposed to be the partiers who only surf on the side!!! have i been mislead by my faithful leader/ aussie surf bum? NEVER. next thing you know i was bumpin and grinding on the table with the dirtiest of all dirty germans (no really, she did XXX rated things on the dancefloor on a previous night, dont worry, not with me though, i was preoccupied with a much hotter and less infected german). we rallied the troops, starting with my trusty partner, kit, and before you knew it we had ourselves a table dancing good time. we only stopped dancing for competitions involving mock fellatio onstage (...) and another little contest that i participated in that involved getting naked to win a skydiving trip. dont worry, i tried my damndest to get a free skydive but after stripping to my skivvies onstage in front of all my new BFFs i decided i would keep my boxers and my dignity on, put my pants back on, and got off stage.

its alright though... my consolation prize was a bangin goodbye kiss with the afformentioned hot and disease-less german. i gave her my heart... and my name for facebook and i dont even get a friend request in return. alas, i ache... i pine... i booze.