blame it on the octo mom

yesterday when i was driving to go get my sweat on i was listening to big boys neighborhood on power 106 cuz im so hood and they played a remix of jamie foxx's blame it on the alchol. they blame it on the octo mom. its all that crazy bitch's fault.

in other news, spring break has come and gone. i spent the majority of it in montana skiing and kickin it. ya heeearrrd. good times. i got to see some friends and also marge. shes awesome. she loves me. i'm her favorite. sorry fam. i win.

the biggest development out of the week came after a lively round of speed landmines. we had invented this game the night before. well not invented as much as put our own spin on it. basically landmines, where you spin a quarter drink some beer and then pick up the quarter all before it stops spinning and with one hand, but instead of one quarter we had 2. this allowed 5 people to plow through 40 beers in an hour. 2 puked the first night and 2 puked the second. not so much because they were too drunk but because when you have that much beer in your stomach the foam basically overtakes your entire esophagus and then an explosion occurs. especially after a delicious italian dinner.

so yeah. after a few rounds of this on night 2 we started having some drunken conversations aka the best kind of conversations. you just put it all out there and be all philosophical and shit and its great. so i was bitching and moaning about how i'm unhappy at USC and with public relations and i have sand in my vajay. whatever. bottom line- i was being a pansy ass. blake told me to take a year off, which made complete sense at the time. why shouldnt i take a year off? fuck school fuck grades and fuck the man! im taking a year off! i kindof expected to wake up and be like god i would never do that, however, on my 4 hour drive back to spokane that day i thought about it more and more and i realized that i think taking year off could be the best thing that i havent done yet. so as i live and blog i am also researching ski instructor courses in france, new zealand and canada. i might go volunteer with kids somewhere in central america, learn some spanish. go hike part of the appalachain trail or take a NOLS course, go live in new york and re-energize my lucrative modeling career (just kidding), or go couch surfing in various college towns for a couple months. the possibilities are endless. i've never seen a fjord. i could see a fjord. i mean its not top of my list but how often does a person get to use the word fjord? i just figured i should jump on the opportunity.

so thats my plan as of today. figure my shit out and take off for a year. see the sights. but i still have a ways to go before all of that. things are looking up in my classes though. i have talked in all of them so far since i have returned from spring break. i started off a little rocky in PR last night. i babbled on about something that was not relevant at all, prompting the teacher to restate the question and look at me like i may be on drugs. whatever bill. i may babble but you are boring. i would rather be me. then today in my english class with the professor who thinks i am royally retarded i raised my hand. after telling ole mark what my first name is (its only week 10 so he totally doesnt need to know my name yet) i dazzled him with some comparison between actors and playwrites. he thought... pondered for a second if you will... then said "i like that. i think i'll give you a star." FUCK YEAH I GOT A MOTHERFUCKIN STAR BITCHES!!!! thats right. after that however several people raised their hand and completely negated my point and made me feel kinda dumb but i dont care because i got that star fshooo. and then in french i attempted to explain the difference bet wen depuis and en. i think i did a pretty bang up job. my homegirl atiyeh wasnt impressed i dont think but i'm alright with that.

ever since class i have been i a fantastic mood. we decorated condoms and filled them with water and put them on tristans bed, i watched nick and noras infinite playlist again, i ate a really good apple. life is fantastic. and i attribute alot of that to the apple. a good apple can just brighten my day. i found some extra large fujis at ralphs and they are treatin me right. mm mm good.

i know i talk about travel alot on here so i will limit my discussion of my return trip from spokane to LA to 2 points.

1. my super shuttle driver from the airport to my apt was a small indian man who passed out free chips and told jokes. i actually thought he was really funny and was kinda diggin it but i didnt want to be the wierd kid talking to the driver and laughing at all his jokes, one of which was "i called the psychic hotline the other day and they said so why are you calling? i replied, i dont know you tell me!" classic.
   
2. i found what i want for my birthday (four months and 29 days until i turn 21) while perusing the pages of skymall. skymall has the BEST stuff that i would never EVER even consider purchasing. ok thats a lie. in middle school i really wanted some of the LOTR memerobilia. if you dont know what LOTR means then you are really behind the times and a lame ass. duh. but i digress. my bday present is un-LOTR related... unfortunately. its this gem: the sky rest travel pillow

oh baby baby hook me up. the next time i go on a tropical vacation i want to be passed out on that thing. (fun fact- when i was in middle school i refused to wear collared shirts unless they were hawaiian collared shirts. i'm about 87% sure i had that one)

now that i have divulged alot of information about my future endeavors, my current tasks and my middle school quirks, i feel like i should go, leave you be, and let you continue on your life, but not without one last piece of evidence that i should jumpstart my modeling career:

well i'd fuck me.