hey

it is raining in LA. this is terrible. a travesty. a tragedy. just downright disgraceful to be honest. i did not move my ass across the country to be rained on. i'm going to write a letter to the governator and complain about this. he'll definitely fix it. i mean hes an effing terminator- he can probably make cars fly, cure aids, and stop global warming all with a couple quick flexes of his pecs (think samantha from bewitched's nose twitch but instead of a nose its man boobs and instead of a milf its an aging austrian body builder).

so this morning i showed up to the gym to meet with my personal trainer, because my luxurious LA lifestyle requires that type of thing (if i sound like any more of a douche i will have to kick my own ass). well home boy did not show because we had a miscommunication, so while i am standing around like an idiot before i figured this out i saw one of the publicists that i intern for. perfect. i see no celebs at the gym today but i do get to see one of my superiors. let me tell you something- when i go to the gym i dont look my normal hot self. i look rough. i'm talkin barely awake, wearing my fly (read: ridiculous) kicks, stupid looking workout shorts have had since freshman year and a naaaasssty old tshirt. i can barely form sentences. so after struggling through a brief exchange of words with this publicist i knew i would it was going to definitely be a great day.

so i move on, do my work out on my own, whatever. no big deal. i shower up and head to work and mentally prepare myself for the trek through the rain to the office. intern bitches have to park over in china and then trek to the office. its a dangerous and harrowing journey- i've considered hiring a sherpa. anywho- i showed up in the parking lot to find my buddy bri, in the parking lot smoking a cig. first words out of her mouth- "are you hungover?" FML. i look hungover. i wasnt mind you. but it really gave the confidence booster that i needed to continue through my day.

work was the same old boring shenanigans, burned some dvds, ate some cupcakes (which were green btw), pretended like i was doing something. regular day at the office. cool.

then i had to drive home through the monsoon scene in jumanji (im pretty sure theres a monsoon in there if not then im thinking of a different movie). it was terrible.

after getting back to my hood (south central HOOOLLLAAAA) i went to ralphs, which is like publix of southern california. my checker was very bitter and rude, then i realized that my buddy steve (after he scanned my mushrooms we moved up from a cashier-customer relationship to buddies) had been working at ralphs for 33 years. it said so right on his badge- 33 years of service. why would you ever tout that as an accomplishment ralphs? are you trying to increase employee suicide rates? you should just send him packing after a 20 years for his own damn good. especially if hes only risen to assistant store manager or some bullshit. poor steve. i kinda felt bad for him but then he was very pushy with his bag boy about some stamp thing so i demoted steve from buddy back down to checker and then wrote him out of my life altogether. bye steve.

well the rest of my night has been pretty much facebooking, cooking, eating, eating nutella, watching tv. i have to get up early tomorrow because my trainer rescheduled me for 9 am tomorrow. doesnt he know i have a hot date with the back of my eyelids and my full length body pillow (its been a bit of a dry spell dont judge). whatever. im going to bed. i hope you enjoyed todays update on my way cool life.

good night and good luck at not becoming steve. that would suck.