this weekend camden elizabeth covey graduated from high school, and i nearly off'd myself. we had 15 people sleeping in our house, which meant got kicked to the curb and had to fend for myself on various couches for several nights. not my ideal situation. also we had a graduation party for my lovely little sis. since i have not spent much time in spokane i do not know anyone and generally did not want to have to speak with my parents' friends and say either "oh yeah USC is great" and fake that i loved it more than puppy dogs and rainbows, or say "yeah im just taking some time off..." the second situation inevitably leads to one of two things "oh my gosh thats so awesome/oh to be young again/ tough life (insert annoying, semi drunk middle aged laughter hear)" or a lecture from some douchenozzle who i have known for all of 5 seconds and quite frankly doesnt know me from adam and has no reason to tell me that i am making a mistake and give me advice in all that i do. i really hate the people who try to tell me im making a mistake. idiots. do you not think that its crossed my mind? of course it has. i do not go with the flow well and dropping out of school for a year requires a very high go with the flow-ability. im freakin out man. but im still doin it! i mean my fam and the people who actually know me are all for it which is good. now i just have to grow a pair and figure my shit out (i feel like i say that a lot, no?)
back to the party. to deal with the onslaught of my parents friends i decided that i needed to get slightly buzzed to deal with all of this. just to take the edge off. well that happened and things were going alright. then i went from being buzzed to tanked in like 7 seconds flat. who knew 4 beers, vodka, and a couple bottles of wine did that to someone? i proceeded to eat all that i could possibly get my hands on, play sloppy drunken pool with my 9 year old cousin, and tell my mom and her friend (not an idiot friend, a cool one) that when i get road rage i call people twats and cunts. after a solo dance party in my sisters room in front of some of her friends i decided to call it a night and passed out on a couch in the basement. 6:30 rolls around and i woke up, not because someone called me or made any noise whatsoever, but because it felt like pearl harbor was happening between my temples. good. i stumbled upstairs and got a glass of water, ignored my 82 year old grandfathers cheery "good morning," grabbed a banana, and searched unsuccessfully for tylenol sinus. advil it is. i went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and nearly had a heart attack at the sight. my eyes were bloodshot and puffy, i looked like i had been hit by a train and sortof wished that i had. i at my banana and took my advil and went back to lie down. 10 minutes later i returned to the bathroom to puke my brains out before finally going back to sleep for 3 hours.
breakfast was quiche. not good on a hangover, especially when you have to hide the hangover from several people, namely grandparents and young cousins who want you to run and play with them. not happening. i nearly barfed again when my mom offered me crab quiche. seafood before noon and on a weak stomach? hell to the naw! i stuck with my bacon cheddar quiche, 6 cups of coffee, 4 advil, 2 dayquil sinus breakfast and then had gatorade for dessert (lovin those electrolytes). i felt like hell throughout the rest of the morning, the commencement ceremony and up until dinner when i took more advil and finally felt human again. this feeling was short lived because our waiter at dinner was so GD creepy that i wanted to jump through the large windows by our table into the water hazard below (it was on a golf course). he had buggy eyes, big ole ears (that may or may not have been uneven) and some wonky ass teeth. when he took orders he went right up behind you and leaned over and whispered in your ear "what can i get you tonight sir/ma'am?" uuh you can get me a steak with a side of personal space you jackass now step off! it was a joke. and he never brought our appetizers. the tip was rapidly dwindling, but the food was pretty damn good. the only good thing that came from the whole hangover ordeal was that i got on texts from last night again! mission accomplished!!!
after dinner i played pool with my cousins and talked to my parents and my aunt for a little bit before turning in. instead of going right to sleep, which i wanted to because i was dead tired, i started having a panic attack. i had to get up, walk around the house, check that all the doors were locked, drink water, sit around and twiddle my thumbs, all the while with the sinking suspicion that the world was going to end at any minute. clearly i was super rational. now i am sitting on my bed after all of our various house guests have left, still thinking the world is going to end at any minute, procrastinating packing for germany and the caribbean and freaking out about my life. its productive. i also really have to pee so i suppose i should end my cyberspace tirade and go take care of business, starting with a delicious leftover steak sandwich. next time you hear from me i will be in BERLIN!!!!!! im sooooo stoked. be ready. it will be epic!
No comments:
Post a Comment